Uranga Kanavu!!!

கண் மூடி இருந்தேன், கனவில் நீ வந்தாய் 

கண் திறந்து பார்த்தேன், நினைவில் தள்ளி நின்றாய் 

கை சேர நினைத்தேன், தொலைவில் சென்று சிரித்தாய்

வாய் திறந்து அழைத்தேன், அருகில் வர மறுத்தாய்

இன்று நீ வேண்டும் தருணம், ஏன் நான் இல்லை என்று திகைத்தாய்???

Paatti Vaadhiyam :)

Its been a decade since I quit singing. I can hardly get anything straight/right anymore is what I thought. And then, one fine day, bam! 

I was, at a desi party, when I was asked to sing. Not cos I was any expert, but cos I recognize most of the songs played anywhere. After many NOs, I decided its better I show them what I was capable of and they will never ask me to sing again. There were professional singers, keyboard and tabla players around. To minimize any embarrassment, I kept them informed that I may not get the shruthi/taal right. The keyboard player ( in his 60's) told me, "I can catch up with you as you sing. Don't worry. You are going to be fine." I sang 'Vaseegara' from Minnale at a fairly high range and tempo cos I found it easy to morph my randomness that way. Luckily, it all started and ended well. The uncle with the keyboard called me near him and said "Only when you sing, you know u can; I think you should start training again." I said "Will definitely try. But now I know I will not say a NO next time."

The very moment, I finished singing, all I wanted to do was call my Paatti and tell her that I could sing again. After all, it was and is still something she wishes could happen someday. I rushed home, picked the phone and called the first ever guru of mine, my 90 yr old Paatti. "Paatti! Naan paadinen. Vaseegara iruku illa, andha Madhavan padam, Bombay Jayshree paatu, adhu dhan." That very statement evoked the singer in her and she started giving me a piece of her mind which ended with her evergreen saying "Paada Paada Raagam; Paduka Paduka Rogam." The happiness in her voice knew no bounds and she said "India varache, en kuda rendu naal thangi irundhu oru naalu paatu paaditu podi."

If at all, there is some music in me, its all cos of her. My first guru who taught me to sing "Sa Pa Sa"; who let me touch her precious harmonia petti everytime she wanted me to practice (but for a bribe, I neva did anything even then ;)); one who still thinks there is a chance. I am sure everyone of us has similar cherished childhood memories which have a significant impact on what we are today. The analyst in me wants to say "Current is definitely a function of Past." 

Everybody talks about "Paatti Vaidhyam" all the time. I thought, I should take this opportunity to thank my paatti for the "Paatti Vaadhiyam", if I can call it that.

Kadhal Thuligal :)

முதல் ஸ்பரிசம் மொத்தமும் உற்சாகம் 

முதல் முத்தம் சொச்சமும் பேரின்பம் 

முதல் தீண்டல் தீர சில மணி நேரம் 

மழையே உன் மேல் ஏன் இந்த தீரா மோகம் ;)

Forever and Ever!!!

Closer you seemed, farther you have become
Have always known this day would come
Have always dreaded this day would come
Have always not wanted this day to come
Causing a pain I fear I would succumb
Forever and ever!!!

Memorabilia for many ;) Part 6 - Finale

With Final Exams and Campus Placements round the corner, there wasn't enough time to realize that one awesome phase of life is coming to an end. There were few that were busy preparing for semester exams, many chasing their dreams to do a masters and others attending interviews.

While Rishi and Diya got an admit to head to the US of A for an MS, Arvind cracked the first ever interview with a multi national company.

After her visa interview, Diya realized that it was her adrenaline that kept her going lest her love for Arvind would not have let her go far away. She picked the phone and called Arvind.

Hey Arvind! Wassup with you?

Nothing much Diya. I am heading to B'lore for my training in the first week of August. I am gonna be back in a few months. Wassup with you?

Arvind! I am leaving to the US of A around the same time. Cleared my Visa Interview today. Yet to book my tickets though.

An unusual silence hovered over the call. That's great Diya! I know how important this step is for you. All the very best for your Masters. You definitely are a go-getter girl...

Thanks... Is that all?

Not really... I am seeing this gal whom I met at the interview coupla months back. Wanna see how things go with her...

Oh!!! I mean, Wow!!! Thats great news Arvind... I am so happy for you.. Would you be able to take time off to say good bye to me, in case you are in town?

Of course.. Anything for you....

Are you rehearsing???

Diya!!! We are gonna be far away.. I really don't wanna lose the quality time we would hardly get, going forward, on your sarcasm...  So which school are you heading to?

I am heading to the University of Southern California. Rish is also going to same university. Were you not aware of this before?

Oh yeah.. He did say USC and am no pro to know about every school that least interests me, in some foreign land anyways. So, just wished him Good Luck..

We are looking at flying together and you could come to see us both off...

Tats nice... Gotto go Diya! Catch ya...

Place: Chennai Airport

With family and friends around, Diya's eyes were still hunting for Arvind. When she saw Arvind arrive with a bouquet of tuberoses, all she wanted to do was to give him a bear hug and never part after that.

Hey Guyz!!! Bon Voyage to you both!! Delivering a watch to Rish, 'This is for you man!! Party Hard!'

'Thanks dude!!! You better talk to Diya. Ever since we got to the airport, all I could see in her eyes was the gate to the entrance', chuckled Rish.

Hey D!! This is for you..

Thanks Arvind... You still remember that I like tuberoses.....

I want you to know that I still love you Diya..

Taken aback by this sudden statement,

But you were talking about some girl that you met at the interview blah the other day.. Did you dump her so soon?

Well!! Was just curious to catch Ms.Tight Lips' reaction if I ever threw something like that at her. Did that not work? Did I not see those big eyes pop out of your face?

With a tear trickling down her cheeks, struggling to get words out of her mouth, Diya stretched her hand out reaching for Arvind's.

You stole all of my sleep all these days. Was wondering if you would never think about me anymore now that you have a pretty (or so did I assume) lady by your side. Was thinking how I would even be able to see ya smitten in her love forever if at all this works. In fact, that was exactly when I realized I cannot see you with anyone else at any point in time.

Babe!! Its just US that make us so special. The time alone trying to catch up with my whole identity just made me realize how crazy I was to complicate everything between us. I like this association and am proud of it. No way am I letting anything do us apart.

Now, gimme a tight hug that would suffice for the distance and time away from each other.

Hearing the airport announcement calling out for passengers, Arvind says, 'Go, Chase your dream girl! I will hunt you down as always and make you fall all over in love with me again forever.'

Love you Arvind! If at all, I complicate things anytime in the future, just give me one tight whack and ask me to Shut Up! Will you?

Sure Sweetie! If only I had the heart to hurt you.

Wow! Finally, two of my best friends have decided to not have pen/pencil fights and have grown up!!!

Now, I gotto steal your girl friend cos she needs to help me with my studies. Do you mind dude?

Not one bit Rish... Take care of her. I will be there, as soon as I can, by your side, sweetheart.

Indru Pol Endrum...

நாளை அது இல்லை என்றால் 

இன்று மட்டுமே உண்மை என்றால்

இன்று போல என்றும் வாழும்
மனம் அது வேண்டும் 

அதில் நேற்று இன்று நாளை இன்றி 

என்றும் நீயே வாழ்ந்திட வேண்டும் 

Memorabilia for many ;) Part 5

As days went by, there were exams, projects and other activities that kept both Diya and Arvind busy together. Their names were associated with each others' to ease identification. If not seen together, friends always inquired about one to another. At some point in time, Arvind felt they were losing individual identities for no reason..

One fine day, Arvind calls Diya. 

Hey D! Shall we catch up sometime in the evening? I can come pick you if 6.30 works with you..

Who else is coming? If Rish is around, I can ask him to pick me. He lives 5 minutes from my place anyways.

No.. Its just you and me... 

Arvind! Whats this about? I thought things were just fine between us after our discussion... Wow!! Its actually been more than a year... 

Its still about US... We need to talk Diya...

It was a full moon day... With the waves roaring and moonlight beaming on the sea, Arvind keeps staring at the many silvery reflections and begins to talk..

I don't want this between us Diya... I don't like whats happening around us.. I want to be known as Arvind and I am sure you also want to known as Diya.. Makes me feel am losing my identity.. I don't want to be known as Arvind... Who??? Diya-Arvind... Oh yeah.. That guy...

Even if we were dating, I would still want to be known for what I am... And now that there is absolutely nothing between us, I would rather not carry the tag neither would I want you to... Lets just stop hanging out for a while... I am going to deliberately get myself out of anything that we are involved in together... I just don't want it to come as a shocker to you.. I still want to be good friends with you Diya... But want to get rid of the association... Hope you understand..

Arvind!!! Are you attracted to someone?? 

No! Not at this point in time... But I definitely want to get out of this equation.. As you had mentioned, I would want to see if I am attracted to the other fish in the sea... This time away would make both of us realize what we mean for each other. Any decision made going forward would instill lotsa trust and complete faith in the relationship if it is ever meant to happen...

Diya!! Are you even listening??

Yes... Mmmmm... I am.... Lets probably take time off each other... Explore options around and then see if we still love each other the same way as we do now...

You love me??? Diya!! Do you love me???

Yes Arvind... I do.. I have always... But never thought this is how I was going to express it the second time... But let this fact not change any of the decisions made... Lets just part and see what we have in store...

Diya!!! May be we should talk... No Arvind!! We should not... I know you want to explore... I know you want to be Arvind and Arvind only... Let this time off help you get all that you want... Lets go, chase our dreams...

And if things are still meant to happen, they will anyways... I gotto leave now...

Let me drop you... 

No.. I can take an auto... Our time starts now!!!

Bye Arvind!!! 

Kaadhalin Saaral!!!

உன்னை எண்ணி தூக்கம் அது தொலைந்தது
பகல் இரவு இன்றி நேரம் அது விரைந்தது
காணாமல் கண்கள் அது கரைந்தது
உன் நினைவு கனவெல்லாம் நிறைந்தது
உயிரோ உன்னை சேர துடித்தது
இருந்தும் நேரில் கண்ட போது எது என்னை தடுத்தது????

Nee Varuvaai Ena....

கண்ட  கனவோ  ஓராயிரம்
உன்னை  பார்த்த பின்  ஆனது  நூறாயிரம்
உன்னுடன்  கனவில்  சென்றேன்  பல  தூரம்
பிரியும் தருணமோ பெரும்  துயரம்  :( :( :(

En Mana Vaanil!!!

உடன்  வர  துணை  ஒன்று  வேண்டாமா 

இது  தந்தை  கேள்வி 

உனக்கென சான்று  ஏதும்  வேண்டாமா 

இது  அன்னை  கேள்வி 

துறவறம்  வேண்டி  தவமா 

இது  உடன்  பிறந்தோர்  கேள்வி 

தனிமைக்கு  வாழ்க்கை தானமா

இது  நண்பர்கள்  கேள்வி 

எனக்கென ஒரு  மனம்  இல்லையா 

அதை  உணர்பவருக்கு  காத்திருக்கும் 

இதுவே  என்  வேள்வி!!!

Marava Ninaivu!!!

எங்கு விழுந்தேன் என்று தெரிந்தால் 

அவ்வழி போக மாட்டேன் 

எப்படி விழுந்தேன் என்று அறிந்தால் 

அப்பழி சுமக்க மாட்டேன் 

என்று விழுந்தேன் என்று உணர்ந்தால் 

அந்நாளை நினைக்க மாட்டேன் 

எதில் விழுந்தேன் என்று புரிந்ததால் 

உன்னை என்றும் மறக்க மாட்டேன்  :)

Kannalane!!!

கற்றறிந்த உன்னை வார்த்தையால் கடத்த இயலாமல்
கடை கண் பார்வையின் துணை தேடினேன்
வர்ணனையால் என் மனதுடன் சேர்த்து
கண்களையும் கைது செய்தாயே!!!
நிராயுதமாய் காதல் எனும் போரில்
என்னை தோற்க்கடித்தாயே!!!!